...

I have know idea what I'm doing anymore.
I'll just admit it.
Up until now I've felt like I at least have a handle on the world.
But now I look out my window and I don't recognize anything out there.
I don't feel apart of it.

I just thought that I at least knew what to do or that I had some things figured out.
But I don't.
I don't know anything anymore.
And of course that scares me.

I feel so Lost.

It bothers me to write this for some reason.
I am literally squirming as I type.
Perhaps, its that very thing that bothers me and admitting it.
I hate being not in control and not knowing what to do.

I've been lying to myself for some time and now I realize how bad things really are.
I've been pretending everything's okay, when that is such a complete lie!
That couldn't be anymore of a lie.

The world Is so big and I feel so lost in it.

Until later my trouble makers,
xo
Confessions of a Mischief Maker

better talk fast.

Recently, I came into a dollar.
When I first got it I didn't notice a little message it had on it.

Well, this past weekend I went to the movies with some friends.
I needed change for a twenty.
Once I got my money, I got what I needed, and hurried off to my movie.
I didn't really pay attention to this dollar.
Why would I?
It wasn't until 2 days after, I finally did.

'OK But I am Going home w/ Anorea So you better talk fast!
- Ashley'

I like this dollar.
It reminds me of how I wasn't the only person to own this dollar.
I just normally think that, its my dollar now,
but I forget that it all ways wasn't.

Then I start to think about the previous people that did own it,
and about this Ashley.

It's weird I know, but its interesting.

What did they look like?
What are they like?
What is their life like?

I just wonder about these people.
Have you ever seen a person and wondered who they are?
Like just a stranger and wonder what their life is like and what they do.
I do.

Again, it sounds strange, I know.

But, its very fascinating.
I like to study people.
And just wonder about them.
There is not really any other way to describe it.
It's not like a perverted thing, and I can't help it.
It can get depressing sometimes though...

But, I also wonder about this message.
I wonder many things about it.
but this would go on forever if I listed them.

I'm keeping it.